I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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