Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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