I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
