Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
