Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize