What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my sisters under your porch take her home
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
