im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
