if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
