Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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