He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
