I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
