he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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