just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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