On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
