If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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