If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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