beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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