i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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