So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
