ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I currently don't understand fingers.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
