They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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