Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore