The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
