is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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