very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
