your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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