I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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