if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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