I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
