im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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