toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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