Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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