are you so shy because you have an std?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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