You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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