Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
