chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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