Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
