Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
