What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
