I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
