Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
