gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
