This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
