Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A+ Viking dick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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