is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize