Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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