Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
