Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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