i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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