In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
