she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
