my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
