He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
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Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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