They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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