I only kidnapped one of them. chill
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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