i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
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while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
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What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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